Ya well, I ask myself the same question. It's not like I'm highly educated, well read, or have some tremendous background to share but what I lack in all of those important things...I make up for in zeal! Ha! I guess I got that 99% perspiration thing going for me.
Is there anyone out there like me? Back in my late 20’s early 30’s I was in that stage of life where I was really struggling with who I wanted to be when I grew up! My childhood household was a VERY conservative, orthodox Catholic family. I went on to attend an all woman’s college & as one can imagine, Catholic though it was, it was uber liberal & I felt I had been exposed to both mindsets & now it was time for me to forge my OWN way from what I had learned from both learning experiences. I didn’t want to just be a clone of my parents as I felt so many of my peers were. If you asked many of them “Well, OK…I hear ya, you believe (fill in the blank) but why?” Too often there was an uncomfortable pause, as if this person really didn’t KNOW why they believed whatever it was they were espousing. I found it humorous at times. I thought ‘I don’t want to be that person & since I was born with the inability to keep my mouth shut…I’d better figure out what it is I stand for in this life.’ So, I started my journey. It began with my politics. I realized pretty quickly that my particular slant definitely fell in a pretty Conservative camp. In the end, it was probably due to my upbringing that I just couldn’t get away from but at least I tried to approach it with an open mind. Unfortunately, for awhile I was one of those annoying, “tow the line” Republicans. I would try & explain away any wrong doing of any politician I particularly liked & slander ones I didn’t, usually for the same reasons I condoned my guy. We all know “that guy”…well I was her. I was young & clearly foolish & I was missing one, big factor in picking my role models…my faith. Eventually, the veil began to be lifted to realize that on both sides of the aisle, most of these people were immoral, greedy, power hungry mobsters basically. Disheartened and disappointed time & time again by our so called “leaders” left me wanting so much more. I knew then that politics was a game that was a necessary evil but I could not blindly follow any of these jack-asses & if I wanted to be truthful to myself I needed to accept this fact. At this same time, I had started volunteering at a soup kitchen once a month. Here I was attending mass maybe once or twice a month & volunteering as infrequently & I thought I was Mother Teresa. Once again, delusions of grandeur, holier than thou when the reality was, I was someone who knew very little about my faith although attending close to 20 years in Catholic schools!! Once again, I realized I was a fool when it came to speaking on anything of substance. So once again I thought, if I’m going to call myself a Catholic…I really…REALLY need to understand what that means! I cannot go through life, attending mass, not understanding why I do it! What if one day I had kids? I’m sure I’d be forcing them to go to mass, an why? Well,…well just because…we’re Catholic & we HAVE TO! That certainly didn’t sit well with me. So slowly, I started digging around & the more I learned, the more doors were opened to me…the more I realized that the promises of the Church (not the people IN the Church) were the absolute truth. The Church of Rome, that Jesus bestowed on us is 100% infallible & It’s truths are real. This exercise BLEW OPEN my eyes & continues to do so every day. I will not claim to be a Theologian but I am on this never ending quest to learn more. I thank GOD that I began this venture before my current situation hit my family. If I had not learned what I had to that point, my lukewarm approach to my faith would have failed me. There is no doubt I would have turned my back on the Church, become depressed & in that, quite possibly ruined my family. Bishop Fulton Sheen said it best "Not 100 in the United States hate the Roman Catholic Church, but millions hate what they mistakenly think the Roman Catholic Church is.” I am certain I would have found SOME reason to be one of the millions. It is just too easy. The strength I have needed these past two years I can only attribute to truly knowing that without God, there is nothingness. I, Liz Smith, am NOT a strong person…the Holy Spirit & His graces have given me strength to endure. This isn’t some mamby-pamby, feel good, self help writer telling you that the secret is within YOU…it’s NOT! There is nothing HUMAN about it, it is truly God’s graces working within us that assist us in our daily lives & it is our duty to seek Him out so we can unload our burdens on Him & find the help we need in everything we do. It’s there for the asking, all we have to do is truly believe.
I recently read a piece that called us all to be a St. Paul…for all of us to evangelize the proper faith. I thought as I take this journey of learning about mine, maybe there were others who would want to join me. It is a very tough road to be a Catholic. We are not well liked by many outside our faith and quite frankly, we are not well liked by many who claim to be Catholic presently. We are NOT like any other Christians (yet many, even within the Church, would have you think we are) the more I learn, the more I am fascinated by our beautiful faith & have come to realize It’s singular truth. The strength one needs in today’s secular world to actually live as our faith prescribes is extraordinarily difficult (even WITHOUT hardships.) Sadly, our current society stands in the pathway of every step a Catholic (and any other Orthodox religion) takes today. It ain’t easy. I find nothing more admirable than a person unafraid to speak an unpopular truth & actually attempt to live by it. No one is perfect, ESPECIALLY not me. but don't be afraid to stand for something! TRY & live by it. Otherwise what do you tell your kids? Are you “for real?” Or just someone else in society that you really can’t count on who talks a lot of crap? I think we are all so afraid to fail if we are vocal about what we believe that people will point fingers & call us frauds because we say one thing & do another. We all fail at some point & we will many, many times. We should ONLY care about what God thinks of our attempts. Not what our neighbors do. At that point you look at your kids and say "Honey, Mommy is trying...& I will wake up & try again....just like my diet...."
Until the next time!
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